All Up the Seething
by Ransom.Pendragon
Summary: I thought up this story while playing Twilight Princess and listening to the Mountain Goats. I decided to write a story about Link and Zelda if they were the Alpha Couple. The story is episodic, with each chapter being themed on a particular Mountain Goats song.
1. Chapter 1: Spring Cleaning

**Chapter 1: Spring Cleaning**

**Song: Baboon**

** ( watch?v=xrVLexJwkmA)**

The burning new Spring Sun rose above the vast white plains, casting a deep, stark shadow upon the smoldering remains of a Bulblin Chieftain. Link stood to embrace the blinding dawn, a simple sword, still dripping with Bulblin blood, clutched firmly in his white knuckled hand. The pungent scents of sulfur and copper filled Link's senses as he looked out over the Hyrule Plains. A vast field of blood red flowers, wet with the fresh rain that has served to set the scene of Link's latest kill, filled his vision.

As the cool, damp wind wound it's way in and around the Hero's forest green tunic, now dark with dirt and blood, Link could not help but harbor a fierce and overflowing rage. The whole and complete uselessness of his current existence filled him to bursting. He was the _Hero of Courage_; He _alone_ defeated the dark lord Ganondorf. But how now, has this great Hero reduced to combating these brutish, idiotic masses of dumb flesh!

Link looked down at his sword, now tainted with the sticky black Bulblin blood. A new surge of rage consumed him.

_I once wielded the Master Sword! THE Sacred Blade, forged for the sole purpose of desolating and banishing the greatest of evils from Hyrule. Now I just swing this dull lump of metal! A baser weapon fitting for baser foes I suppose._

Link looked up at the vast morning sky. _Why am I here? Why am I still here, where a hero is no-longer needed. Why do I continue in this dull, grinding life?_

The answer came to him in a single word. It rang through his mind as a thrashing maelstrom of anger, frustration, and agony:

_Her._

He stood there: Pure power, stripped of meaning.

Sky Burning, Spring cleaning.

The rain began again, striking and rolling down his skyward face. Link let loose a guttural scream, echoing for miles off the broad plains as the Sun rose into the day.

Zelda sat, perfectly poised as always, behind a strong, Mahogany desk upon which lay several tall stacks of heavy parchment. She wore a small pair of reading glasses and an expression of frustration and discontent, masked expertly by her regnit features. She worked in a somewhat small study, composed mostly of stone and wood, with shelves of old, dusty tomes covering every available patch of wall. The day had only just begun, but the candles which littered the study stood as small, worn down nubs, casting weak, flickering light. Zelda was straining to read the latest report on Hyrule's pottery shortage when a strong, violent _slam_ shocked her composure and rustled the stacks of paper, causing quite a few minor cascades of tax reports and case files.

The broad, tall stone doors to the study were at once and with fervent passion flung open, the strong gust they produced serving to extinguish the feeble licks of candle flame. The look of surprise and alarm on Zelda's countenance were instantly replaced with a unique and highly refined mixture of resentment and appreciation. For there, standing in doorway, silhouetted by the brilliant morning sun, stood Link, calm and composed and seething. His spirit no longer willing, but his flesh very, very strong.

"The Bulbin Clan from the western hills wont be bothering your precious trade routes anymore." Link spat out.

Zelda accepted the guile with her ever consistent regality and aloofness. "That is fantastic news. Thank you Link." She replied, returning to her reports. It had taken quite a while for her to perfect that thank you, the layers and layers of subtext and resentment were subtle and complex and blatantly obvious.

A silence fell. Link remained, unwavering in the doorway. She tried to resist the bitter urges in her heart. With a quick upward glance at the man's eyes, she failed.

"I'm glad the Bulbin Clan was able to listen to reason. You _did _try to reason with them, _as I specifically instructed, _didn't you?"

Link finding courage in his bile, took a heavy step toward the desk.

"Oh yes, I reasoned with them really hard." He replied, his sarcasm palpable. Another heavy step.

"I gave each and every one of them a nice, strong reason. Hell, some I even gave two!" Another heavy step. Zelda, who up until now had managed to keep her focus on the report, faltered, falling into the trap that was the boy's fiery eyes.

"And as for the Chief, I gave him the greatest reason of all!" Mere inches from the desk now, Link drew the his sword, brandishing it with a manic smile before Zelda.

"Look, you can even see some remnants of his feeble 'retorts'." He said, gesturing to the faint sticky stains which remained on the sword. "They were flowing from him quite freely at the end." For the faintest of moments, Zelda's porcelain composure fractured, her eyes flashing with fear and hatred. Link relished it.

After a few tense moments, Zelda retreated, standing up slowly and walking behind her to retrieve a book for no apparent reason. Link, his fury and passion fueled by the unprecedented victory, was about to press again. However, at the last moment Zelda regained her composure.

"I really wish you didn't feel the need to resort to violence _every time _I give you a task." She said calmly into her book.

Under normal circumstances, Link would swallow his anger, his frustration, and apologize. He would make up some bullshit resolve to do better in the future and hobble back to his room, castrated and dejected.

But here, now, in this vital moment, Link choked on his anger, was asphyxiated by his frustration. He could bury it no longer. All at once, it was vomited forth, a veritable typhoon of hatred.

The balance was all at once broken, and they would never be the same for it.

"I'm the goddamn Hero woman, what do you think I am supposed to do!? You didn't seem to get pissy when I chose not to _reason_ with Ganondorf!" He spewed, waving the Master Sword erratically.

"Every time you bring this up! Yes, you defeated Ganondorf, _with my aid._" Zelda replied, still composed, but faltering.

Link's eyes burned even hotter. "_With your aid!? _ahhaha! do you really think your feeble fucking arrows did any fucking use for anyone? All you really did was get captured and possessed. _REALLY _fucking helpful there." Zelda replaced the book, and turned to Link. She spoke slowly and calmly.

"You and I both know that without the arrows' magic to weakening his defences, you would never have been able to get close enough to use the Master Sword. Right now you are letting your emotions cloud your better judgement, and I forgive you for these words I know you don't really mean. You know I have the utmost thanks for you and your actions. Hyrule owes you a great debt. Now I believe it would be best if you returned to your room and slept off these errant emotions."

Their eyes met. Determination met determination. Sparks flew and fires raged. Slowly, a small smile grew on Link's lips. Followed by a deep, manic laugh which lasted an uncomfortable amount of time. Zelda was just about to reach out her hand to the boy when his eyes flashed.

"FUCK THAT!" He yelled, plunging his sword deep into the top of the Desk, just barely missing Zelda's outstretched hand. The shock was all that was needed to break her composure finally and completely. Link bellowed and spewed.

"I fought for you! All my fucking life I fought! I've killed more people and creatures and demons, I have more blood on my hands than Ganondorf ever did! And all of this, all my suffering and pain and sorrows, I DID ALL OF IT FOR YOU!" He was around the table now, mere inches away from Zelda, causing her to back pedal slowly.

"And what do I get in return?! WHAT DOES THE HERO OF ALL HYRULE GET IN EXCHANGE FOR HIS SUFFERING AND STRUGGLE!?" Legitimate terror now flooded Zelda's complexion. All regality banished from her, she stood raw and exposed.

"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! NOTHING BUT MORE THANKLESS WORK AND A SELFISH PRUDE LITTLE CLOSE-LEGGED BITCH!" In a singular moment crystallizing eons of anger and frustration across all the worlds, Link's hand, imbued with the anger of thousands, struck Zelda's pale, perfect cheek. The resounding _smack _echoed across time and space. His unrestricted force, combined with the utter shock of the act, send Zelda back, tripping over an errant paper, and falling backward, to be pinned by Link against the bookcase.

In that singular moment, something was awoken. A piece of Zelda, a trait buried so long ago that not even she had memory of the aspect of her character that now poured forth. Faced with this hulking, brutish mass of rage before her, she felt not fear or betrayal. What awoke in her was not the regal purity, the perfect princess. Instantly and completely, she was filled with a sea of refined, pure, pristine, wholly unadulterated hatred. Rage consumed her, banished the perfect girl she had been trained for so very long to be. In that moment, she was no longer the Zelda which Hyrule needed, but the Zelda that she truly was: a used and abused woman who wanted to be selfish for once in her goddamn life.

Her eyes flashed, consumed and forged in her seething anger. Link was instantly and completely taken aback. His grip weakened, and that was all the opening she needed. Zelda's hand few with a just vindictiveness which rivaled and even perhaps surpassed Link's. Her blow not only sent the Hero staggering back, but also resulted in three shallow cuts on his left cheek. The sight of blood only seemed to fuel her primal passions.

"You selfish, insolent, self-entitled, _child!_" Her voice, making full use of her royal training, filled the space with unwavering authority. "Just because you saved Hyrule by no means implies that you are entitled to my body! What kind of flighty whore do you take me, _Your Queen, _for? Yes, you are the Hero of Courage. Yes, you wield the Master Sword. Yes, you were the only one capable of defeating Ganondorf. But these were actions done _for Hyrule! I never asked you to do any of it! _I owe absolutely NOTHING to you!" She walked fiercely over to the desk, ripping off a piece of paper, a long bill, that had been skewered by the Master Sword and brandished it before Link.

"But I DID feel grateful to you! I gave you housing in the castle, I knighted you, I even support your horrendous spending and drinking habits! I am the ONLY reason you aren't passed out drunk in a gutter somewhere! You have very little money left, and you've got no sense, and I'll have _none_ of your Goddamned Impudence!"

In a normal argument, a normal fight, Zelda would be feeling a sense of self satisfaction, Link would feel defeated. One would apologize, claim the title of Beta, and allow the Alpha his or her rightful place. But not here, not now. This fated couple, this fated moment, forged through eons of frustration and anger, will come together into the rare, destructive, and wholly impressive force simply known as: The Alpha Couple.

Link felt no humility, no feelings of regret. Even the slap, which still left a Rupy read mark on Zelda's otherwise pure white cheek, filled him will an even greater sense of determination. He longed to mark up that mocking perfection further. He wished to pull out the true, marred, scratched and swollen Zelda, expose her for all the world to see.

"My defences may be working with a skeleton crew, but I'll be skinned alive before I take this from you!" Link yelled, surging forward, and with a sweeping motion casted off all the papers from the desk.

"What the _fuck_ Link!" Zelda yelled, the obscenity flowing from her lips sending an exhilarating shock down her spine. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! You're just a spoiled little brat! I foolish boy I have indulged for far too damn-"

She was cut off abruptly when Link, his eyes wholly wild, gripped Zelda by the throat and with a sudden and terrifying burst of strengths picked her up and threw the porcelain princess onto the desk. The breath was knocked from Zelda's lungs as she collided with the desk. Her mind was awash with shock and anger and something else. Something deeper and more primal. It was a vague but burning passion that began consuming her.

Within Seconds Link was on top of her, Straddling Zelda and pinning her shoulders. He looked down upon her face. The redness of her cheek was now sweeping across her entire face. Her normally prim and perfect hair was now a wild nest of brilliant gold. A single trickle of deep red blood trailed down her cheek. The the sword, still embedded in the desk, stood against her face, it's razor sharp blade just grazing her. The woman's eyes were filled with shock and awe, but also something deeper, and pulsing. It aroused a similar vague, primal urge in Link.

"I'm no longer a boy. I am a Man, who knows what he wants. And is prepared to take it."

Their eyes fought and danced and seethed and sparked. Both succumbed to their anger, their hatred, their passion. With a sudden jolt Zelda reached up behind Link's head and grabbed a fist full of the man's sandy locks. Link growled in retaliation, a grin forming on his manic face. He could sense her finally giving in, at long last he would lay claim to his bitch.

With a grace and ease befitting her stature, Zelda slammed Links head into the desk. The impact was so clean and hard and pure that a single thin crack formed along it's length. Within seconds Zelda mounted the howling and severely dazed Link.

Still holding him by his locks, Zelda brandished his head against the embedded sword.

"Don't you _EVER _think of me as some bitch you can lay claim to. If you even try, you'll find yourself the one being claimed." She spat, pressing his face against the blade, sending a small trail of dark blood trickling down it's length. _  
_

Zelda relished the moment. The feeling of power, of triumph. It fed and encouraged that primal urge now pulsing within her.

Link lay there, stunned. How had he let the tides be turned so suddenly upon him? How had he, the Hero, been so easily beaten? He shot a glance back up at Zelda. Her eyes were burning brilliantly and with a searing veracity. They invoked a drive deep in Link's soul.

He knew the feeling well. It was what has always driven him. It was what fueled his soul and gave purpose to his acts.

It was that glorious, terrifying sensation: Rivalry.

"Very well." He spoke, his sudden, confident voice breaking Zelda from her thoughts.

"If it is a fight you want, it is a fight you'll have. _M'lady." _His words, spewed forth with impressive disdain, stoked Zelda's fury to its apex. Their eyes met, will matching willl, passion matching passion, fury combating fury.

What followed was a primal mass of biting, growling, claiming and reclaiming. It was an eternal fight for dominance, which neither party ever completely attained. By the end of their carnival of passions, they had managed to collapse six shelves, eviscerate a dozen books, and break the Mahogany desk cleanly in half.

As they lay in the ruins of their endeavor, panting and sweating and twinge-ing and bleeding, the early morning Sun broke through the clouds out west, casting down all the colors of the rainbow through the door and into the broken room.

Day breaking, Spring Cleaning.


	2. Chapter 2: Alpha Couple Incarnate

**Chapter 2: Alpha Couple Incarnate**

**Song: Oceanographer's Choice**

**( watch?v=Xf1_5ovsagM)**

Link took a long, deep drink of his scotch as the big orange Sun, sinking below the horizon, threw long, garrish shadows across the small room; disfigured dark copies of chairs and tables cast across the living room's length. He sat in a tall, comfortable chair, a glass of neat scotch in one hand, and a slowly dying cigarette in the other. The room was of a decor befitting a castles quarters; the walls filled with books, the floor draped in furs and quilts, an elegant fireplace, harboring a few glowing logs declaring the last moments of their fleeting existence with the faint light of softly breathing embers. Link sat facing the fire, with his head back, staring at the ceiling in aimless thought.

_This can't last forever. _Link thought, taking a long pull on his cigarette, letting the smoke slowly billow up in lazy plumes.

In a fleeting attempt of distraction, Link let himself think back to his battle with Ganondorf. He often thought of his best and most glorious fights when he felt the creeping dread of depression closing in around him. As evil as he was, Link could not help but respect the man's strength, his worthiness as a rival. Wielding the Tri-Force of Power, he had in all respects been the only true opponent, only real fight Link had ever had. A faint grin grew across Link's face as he recalled their battles, the endless stream of tricks up Ganondorf's sleeve, and his own clever retorts.

But even Ganondorf, in all his strength, his very embodiment of power, was found wanting. Even he fell before Link's blade. It seemed as if Link would never find his equal, never find a being truly worth his fury and determination. Someone who could match him blow for blow, who could keep Link on his toes, always guessing, always in that brilliant thrill of uncertainty. Someone who could evoke in him that fantastic, exhilarating little four letter word: fear.

Link's eye flared as the thought flashed across his mind.

Such an opponent was nothing but happy dream for Link. No such being could be found in Hyrule now. Hell the only person who could even come close to matching his power now would have to wield a piece of the Triforce. And even then: the cunning, the sharpness that would be needed to keep him guessing and in the thralls of the unknown... Link thought back to the last time he felt such delicious sensations.

As always, as has been the case for every waking and dreaming hour of these past brilliant days, his thoughts found their way spiraling back. Always back.

Always to _her._

The sharp excitement that had been building in him was once again washed away, that oppressive sorrow of temporality striking once again. Nothing ever lasts, no rival ever stood eternal before Link's might.

_This can't last forever._

Link drained the last few drops from his glass.

All at once the air was filled with static, every square inch charged and alive with tension. The door was thrown open, the gust breathing new life into the frail embers of the fire, making them spark and smoke in excitement.

Their eyes locked. The fury and passion in hers quickly fueling an equal ferocity in his own.

"What the FUCK did I say about destroying the peasants' yards you indignant lump of putrocity!" Zelda yelled, a manic grimace on her face.

Any thoughts that Link had once held were now and all at once banished by the growing sea of loathing building up in his gut. He let himself be consumed by the moment.

"I was cutting their damn grass! I was _trying _to be _helpful_ you Ungrateful Cunt!" He yelled, throwing his empty glass across the room.

It struck the wall mere inches from Zelda's face and shattered. She didn't so much as flinch, relentlessly staring him down in unphased furry. That did it instantly.

Link was up, swaying and raging and composed. Their fighting had in that single moment transcended the necessity for words. Their eyes now spoke the gravest of obscenities, their actions spat curses of the darkest and foulest regard.

The two began stalking towards one another. Zelda kicked an elegant and finely carved ash tray over, its contents thrown out in a glorious plume of seething grey disgust.

Link's gaze stood transfixed, his intentions pure and clean and intense. Still purposefully making his way toward Zelda, he reached out and stubbed his cigarette out against the west wall, scraping a long dark scar across the cold stone. With cool and seamless motions, he quickly lit another, taking a long pull, his eyes still locked with hers. He grimaced and growled and brandished his teeth, long plumes of hot ash billowing from his flared nostrils and in between his gnashed teeth.

They stood mere inches from each other. Arcs of excitement and anger and passion jumped and flashed between them. Their eyes locked, sparked with a brilliant intensity. Link blew a fresh cloud of tar into Zelda's face. He smiled, the cigarette still locked in his teeth. She saw his eyes glance down to the cluster of small circular burns on her shoulder, expertly disguised with careful makeup.

Zelda flashed a quick smile of her own. Link's vision was suddenly blurred, and then filled with a searing anger as Zelda quickly snatched the burning butt from between his lips, and sent it plunging hard against his neck.

His hand was all at once at her throat, lifting Zelda nearly off her feet. Even as her body began struggling and gasping for air, she never broke their gaze. Her eyes never lost their pure, refined, unadulterated hatred. God how Link lived for those eyes.

Zelda planted a heeled boot to Links chest, and with a strong quick kick sent him reeling back. Still fairly inebriated, Link swaggered and nearly lost his balance from the attack, but recovered quickly, quite accustomed to inebriated combat. He looked down and examined the large rip which the heel of Zelda's boot has put in his light evening tunic. With a sly grin he ripped it the rest of the way, letting the tattered fabric hang loosely on his tone, muscular body.

Zelda's eyes flared. Two steps and she had him pinned to the ground, her fierce nails leaving long dark slashes across his chest, the crimson lines slowly beading with blood. Taken off guard, Link grabbed a fistful of her hair, using it to throw the manic woman off of his chest. He stood over her, and went for another fist-full of the long tresses of her hair.

But a sharp and strategic strike of Zelda's foot sent him toppling onto his hand and knees. She was ontop of him in a flash. Seizing the man with a full, fierce fistful of his honeyed locks, she brought him up and sunk her teeth deep into the flesh of his shoulder. A guttural, primal growl erupted from his throat. From where they were, Zelda could see beside her through the open door into Link's bedroom. There in the cool dark dying light of the day she caught their reflection in Link's full length bedroom mirror. The man's silhouette; his arched back, that head thrown out in frustration and anguish, the fierce sight of her teeth laying claim to his hot flesh. She found herself flooded with ecstasy.

Link, though in anguish and defeated, caught the faint lull in his opponent's concentration. With a quick roll of his shoulder he thrust his elbow sharply between Zelda's ribs. Her jaws resentfully slackened as her breath was suddenly and painfully evicted from her lungs. Link threw her back, turning to face the dazed princess. He let loose a manic chuckle as he approached her.

"It's going to take a lot more than some cheap tricks to-" He began, reaching out to pin her.

Zelda threw a full bodied, solid fist straight into Link's chest. The man staggered backward, attempted to regain his composure, and failing, fell backward, gasping and devoid of breath. Zelda took her time, relishing each triumphant step as she made her way toward the rasping man. As she approached him, she took notice of a softly burning candle. With a vicious smile, she took it up and stood over Link, who was only just beginning to recover from the shock of her fierce and sudden blow.

A devious and cruel smile spread across Zelda's lips as she lifted one heeled foot, sending it quickly and firmly down upon Links sternum. Then, with careful glee, she let a slow trail of hot, molten wax stream down onto the beaten man's bare chest.

All at once and with a fabulous strength Link's scenes were thrust back to him. The searing pain of the hot wax elicited primal howls of pain, but they also sharpened his senses, flooding and dulling his mind with pure adrenalin. With a firm, desperate grasp he took hold of her leg, and utilizing a strength worthy of his title, threw Zelda's feet out from under her.

She fell hard, the wood floor knocking the wind from her lungs. In a flash Link was over her, his hand filled with as many of her golden locks as he could manage. WIthout any pomp or prose he began dragging the now flailing Zelda into the darkness of his bedroom with a very real and sober determination.

Mere feet from the bed, a desperate yet cunning Zelda took a last ditch opportunity and sunk her teeth deep into Link's calf, biting hard enough to begin tasting that familiar metallic tang. Link stopped, howling in surprise. This gave Zelda just enough time to whip around and wrap her legs firmly around Link's torso, torquing her body with a great and surprising strength.

They fell down, and they locked arms. They knocked the dresser over as the rolled across the floor. The battle raged on, passion combating passion. Two perfectly matched enemies, neither one ever capable of completely securing dominance as the ceiling seemed to swerve above them. Their fiery and determined battle lasted deep into the night until at last; marred, broken, panting, sweating, bleeding, and scathed, the two collapsed in an exhausted mass of empty shells, wholly spent. At some point they had pulled the sheets onto the floor and were now tied up together in a complex knot of sweat and fabric.

Link looked over at Zelda's seemingly unconscious face. In that last fleeting moment of consciousness a single thought possessed him. It filled his body and soul and passed over his lips, imprinted in his breath as nothing more than a whisper.

"What will I do when I don't have you, when I finally get what I deserve?"

Links eyes closed as his consciousness left him.

Zelda's eyes flew open.

It was a few hours before dawn when the two awoke. The mornings after were never awkward or abrasive as Zelda had imagined they would be. Instead they were deeply silent and calm. Link stood silently and walked over to the window. The room was hot and muggy from the evening before, and small beads of sweat still clung to them both. A cool, welcome breeze flew into the room as Link threw open the window. The wind carried with it the clean new scent of morning.

Zelda looked up at the man standing stoically before the window, his strong naked body, still glistening from sweat, silhouetted by the early morning light. She traced the bite marks and faint scars from her deep scratches with her eyes. She could not help but find pride in them, in marking, claiming the feral man.

But she knew this would consume them. The burning passions, these chaotic and primal nights of unbridled frustration, could not and should not last forever. She had been working for so long now to repress these feelings that took such possession of her soul and overthrew her mind.

_I don't know why it's gotten harder to keep myself away. _She thought, her gaze and mind fixed on the Hero before her. _I thought I'd finally beat the feeling back, but it all came back today. _

Her mind drifted back to that fateful moment the night before. Those few desperate words. Had she dreamt them up? Were they just a fabrication of her ecstasy shocked mind?

Zelda's thoughts were complex and surging. She searched her feelings, she _knew _that her heart was filled with naught but hatred for the man before her. She could _feel _it deep within her. And yet she also felt a kind of primal attraction to him, in possessing him, owning him. And deep in her heart, she knew in some fucked up way she cared for him. And how his quasi-conscious words seemed only to complicate the matter further.

After a few moments more, Link broke his distant, unfocused gaze, and began slowly and methodically dressing. In what Zelda could only describe as a ritualistic reverence and focus he slid on the pieces of his Hero's clothing. The sword always came last, secured to his back slowly and with the faintest hint-ings of disgust tracing across his face. And then, without a single word or glance, he would leave.

This was how their sessions always ended, without fail. It was the only time she ever saw him wearing the Hero's clothes anymore. She had no idea where he disappeared to each time, only that he would return late into the evening.

The whole thing filled her with a strange mixture of morbid curiosity,

and pity,

and disgust.


End file.
